I had never felt like my presence church was noticed. I guess it has been the "out of sight, out of mind" feeling. I was wrong. We are more than just "a sea of faces". I have always looked at the word "Friend" and seen it as a much protected word for me. I have been hurt too many times by too many people claiming they are my friend. A friend calls just to see how you are doing, because they care. A friend asks you to do things with them, just because they enjoy your presents. Here are a few definitions to the word "Friend":
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
Most people see a friend as 2. I see a friend as 3. I have always had just a few (about 5) friends in my life total. I have always selected who I would let in and who I would say was "someone I knew". I have been WAY TOO HARD on myself and others. In the Salvador song, "Trying to be the Sun", he talks about the person who is having their own difficulties, but is trying to be the Sun (life of the party) to everyone else. That was me. I wanted people to know me, but not be an "ally in a struggle or cause". But I NEEDED it. Only those people who noticed that and ACTUALLY did something to help, (not just say the expected things like…"I will pray", or "I hope things get better") then they were my friend. I have really been wondering how/if my life's actions are being noticed by anyone other than God and my close family. Here was a statement taken from "TheFreeDictionary.com":
A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin am cus "friend" and am "I love" is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos "friend" and phile "I love." In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frond, the Old English word for "friend," was simply the present participle of the verb fron, "to love."
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Friendship
Posted by 17Wins at 12:00 PM
Labels: Friends, Friendship
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1 comments:
Several things come to mind when I read this one.....
The first is that we get all get hurt - it's the nature of relationships and the fact that we are all human; and usually the worst hurt is by those who are closest to us. I would be more suspect of someone who doesn't do something that hurts you in some fashion.
Which leads to the second thought - motive. I have seen lots of friendships, even ones by your third definition that have been entirely for what one person could get out of the other. They may seemed allied in a struggle, but for who's benefit? Because you were hurting, or becuase helping someone made THEM feel better about themselves? Or for later gain (i.e., "remeber when I helped you?") of some sort.
Of your definitions, I would pick 1. For the last word in the sentence - trust. It's one of the most overlooked attriblute in releationships of any kind anymore. If you can find people in your life that you can say that you can truly trust: who you can confide in without them passing judgement, then you have found a true friends. I know the trust card is one that is hard for a lot of people to give away. But take the risk...there are always more gains than losses.
And lastly I suggest something that I do frequently....look in the mirror, straight in your eyes and ask yourself "How good of a friend am I?" Let the Holy Spirit do some convicting. Then go talk to your friends about what you found out. Nothing improves trust in a relationship more than being open and honest with each other.
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